Disappointment can be a gift… Really?
I read this great post recently and I thought I would share my spin on it with you.
“The Gift of disappointment is to bring us into alignment with reality.”
Have you ever thought about disappointment? It sounds like it’s a bad thing, right? What if we were to think of it as a gift instead!
With any expectation, comes the opportunity for disappointment and how you choose to handle that disappointment will put you in one of two categories, either the Giver-uppers or the Keep-goers.
The Giver-uppers think ‘It didn’t work for me, so why bother? What’s the point?’.
The Keep-goers think ‘There has to be a way, let’s try something else.’
Whenever we do something in life with an expectation of how we’d like it to turn out, we risk experiencing disappointment. When things don’t go the way we had envisioned for one reason or another, we may feel a range of emotions from slight let down to depressed or even angry depending on what we feel the reason is for things not working out.
I think you would agree that no matter what the reason for the disappointment, whether it’s directed to our self, a friend, or life in general, it’s always a tough feeling to experience.
No one wants to be a ‘Giver-upper’
When we direct our feelings inward toward ourselves and begin to berate ourselves or call ourselves names is when disappointment can truly turn ugly and cause some problems to our self-esteem. We can become a Giver-upper when we hurt our self-esteem, we are less likely to try new things or believe in your ability to succeed.
Even though it’s tough, it’s a natural part of life, and there are many ways of dealing with it when we find ourselves experiencing it.
As with any feeling, disappointment has come to us for a reason, and we don’t need to fear feeling it or to acknowledge it. Becoming a Keep-goer is something that can be learned.
Become a ‘Keep-goer’
The more we are able to accept how we are feeling and process it, the sooner we will move into new territory. Allow yourself to feel disappointment and learn from it.
- What was going on before you became disappointed?
- What were you hoping WOULD happen?
- What DID happen?
- What were your expectations surrounding the experience?
- Could you have done something differently and got a different outcome?
Everything is a learning experience and we can either choose to give up or try another way when it comes to making changes in our health and habits. Every body is different and what works for one person may not work for someone else. There are so many ‘diets’ and ways to workout and finding the best way for you can take some trial and error.
When you feel disappointment ask yourself the above questions and decide if you are going to be a keep-goer and find YOUR ‘perfect’ diet and YOUR ‘perfect’ way to workout. How will you know when you find it? You will want to do keep going and it works for YOU.
High expectations can cause disappointment but with some reflection, you can keep them in check.
As we consider other disappointments in our life and how we have moved past them, we may even see that in some cases what happened was actually better in the long run than what we had hoped. Disappointment often leaves us feeling deflated with its message that things don’t always turn out the way we want. The beauty of disappointment, though, is that it provides us a bridge to its other side where the acceptance of reality, wisdom, and the energy to begin again and keep going.
Join me as a “keep-goer” and let’s keep fit and happy this year.